RT @Crazy Game...

[Insert "Crazy Game..." here]

It's been months since we even heard about each other.

I was supposed to be okay.

I was supposed to have let go and moved on.

I honestly thought that I had.

But tonight, I found that I was wrong.

It's been a while since I felt like this and I just feel lost.

Crazy Game...

Hey Blog. It's been a while.

I think I only go on here when I really really need to let out... I don't really know what I'm feeling right now to be honest. I fear that I might just be wasting my time... But at the same time, I wouldn't know unless I gave it a chance. Does that make sense? This is all so crazy and weird. It almost seems unnatural. This isn't how it's supposed to be... but I mean... There's not much I can do about it. Circumstances are so out of the ordinary... Well... We'll see where everything goes from here because based on past experiences, I can never really tell. Once something is going right... It ends up going left. Life. Weird huh?

Should I have learned my lesson? Do I have TOO MUCH faith in people? Is that such a bad thing?

I honestly don't know.

Cause Cupid Got Killed

Right now... I am so out of it.

I don't know what happened. I just all of a sudden became a pessimist.
Great.

I could just as easily say "Valentine's Day is for suckers!"
But then I would know that I'm only saying it because of my bitterness.
I haven't had a good valentine's day in a while.
Or at least not a worth it one.
I mean, can you blame me for wanting to spend Valentine's day with someone fun?

Hey. Sometimes you don't get what you want.
You gotta deal with it.

I guess I'm also fazed out because of my past.
I know I've always been interested in the unavailable people.
I don't know why but that's just how it ends up.
I don't like the fact the their unavailable. Duh.
But I can't do anything about it.
Then when there's a mutual feeling, my forehead get's stamped with "homewrecker."
Whoopee...
I guess it's my fault. I could always just stop.

But who's to tell me that I can't try to get what I want.
I don't even know why I care so much about people I don't know.
Shoot. "I don't know who your boyfriend is. I don't care!"
... That's how I should be... But it seems unethical.
Maybe if I was that assertive I'd actually be somewhere.
Well... We'll see I guess...

Not So Bad

Thank god for Trippin (Transpersonal Psychology).

I am learning so much about myself from being in this class. I am getting to know people that I would have NEVER talked to before. I am learning about them and how similar I am to them in more than common ways.

I am learning how to be myself more often and how to love myself. Not that I didn't love myself before but I think I'm doing so much better now. I learn that it's okay to feel sad because it's part of life. I learned to believe that we should give as much as we take. My self esteem has been so much better because I am told that "maybe it's okay that this happens... Maybe it's just because you see it so negatively that it effects you so negatively... Could that be possible?" It's more than possible, it's true.

I am so glad that I got to know some of the people in my trippin class because I feel like it's okay for me to be who I am and I know they won't judge me. I also love that I can share stories that I normally wouldn't share to someone I just met. It feels good to know that everyone in that class respects confidentiality. I'm just very thankful.

(Just I thought that I felt the need to write. Back to homework :))

Damn...

So...
I don't know why...
But my heart hurts....
:|

Warning: Rated R for Mature Language

Hey 2010.

So far a crappy start. But I'll be optimistic and hope that it gets better.
Thank gosh I'm graduating and leaving all of this high school bullshit.
I'm ready to meet mature people that are actually worth my time.
Karma, you're a bitch. Just thought I'd let you know.
Yeah I used up some of my karma points...
But you'd think I'd have some left over after hella years of living in shit.
Word of the month: WHATEVER.
Whatever with these jackasses.
Whatever with these sissy ass motherfuckers.
Whatever Karma! You can bite me in the ass all you want.
I'm fucking done.
Now school is my first priority(I was a dumbass to prioritize otherwise).

Sorry for beating you down, Blog. I just need a place to let out.
Thanks for letting me.

Sorry 2010. I'll try to make this year better.

Sorry for the language. I felt it necessary.