What Is The Meaning Of Life?

I think the meaning of life is what an individual person wants it to mean. People have their own definition of the meaning of life because different people have different goals and dreams that they want to pursue.

Some people know what they want to do for the rest of their life. Some people just want to have a family and work to support them. They want to live their life free of any big stress and just live their life. They want to spend time with family and just have the simple life that many don't have, but strive to have.

Some people have really big dreams. Maybe they want to be a famous artist, a famous journalist, a famous photographer, and so on. They want their name to be known. No one has the right to tell them that they can't do it. Anyone can do anything as long as they work to try to pursue it. Me, for example, I want to get into the music industry. Yes, it's a pretty big dream, well for me anyway. And yes, people have told me that it's a one in a million chance. That's probably true. Yes, I will have a back up plan in case it doesn't happen. But I don't think that anyone has the right to tell me that I can't do what I want to do because people should make their own life. If a person is really passionate about achieving their dream, they would not let rejection get in the way. There will always be rejection, but people have to get back on their feet to get where they want to get.

So I believe that people have their own definition of the meaning of life. Some might just say that it's living your life to the fullest and dying happy. Some might say that there's not real meaning, it's an experience and a privilege that we all have.

Don't take life for granted because we only live once. Don't let teachers tell you how to be successful because, depending on a person, success can mean a million different things. Don't let the negativity get in the way of creating your own path to success.

September 24 - My Day

I forgot my calculus book in my locker again. Whenever I bring it to school, I always forget to pick it up after classes are over. I guess it's because there's a bit of a routine and going to my locker isn't part of that. I did most of the homework yesterday, but I was hoping to finish it at Mia's house today. That's kinda why I brought it to school. But I ended up forgetting it and now I have to wait until tomorrow to do my homework. I'll probably have a new assignment then so I'm going to be behind again. Great. And I got a D- on my last test. But that's okay. I'll try to do better as the year goes by.

Then after school, I needed to get stamps to send a card, but I ended up getting the wrong ones. It was pretty funny. And we forgot that we could have gotten them at Safeway. So we just went back to Mia's house.

We played with Bean for a while then we baked a cake. I want some yellow cake right now. I think I'm going to buy some tomorrow. Maybe. Anyway, the cake came out pretty good. Then I went online at Mia's house to look for clothes. I found some things. Mia's computer is crap though(sorry Mia but you know it's true. haha). It would always freeze up so I just gave up and started looking for more clothes when I got home.

School tomorrow. I don't think I have homework so I should be fine. Let's hope for a good day.
I want waffles. X)

My Self Talk

"Mix, just be content. You don't need anyone but yourself."

(I'm training myself to be happy with what I have in my life. Sometimes it's hard but hopefully I'll be able to be independent enough. Although I hate losing friends, sometimes it happens so best be prepared.)

Changes In Time

So I remember talking to you last weekend on the phone. It was a pretty interesting conversation. I finally brought up the topic of our history. I know that every time we talk on the phone, we are both thinking about what happened with us in the past. And last weekend, I finally said something. The topic was being avoided too often. So then the conversation took a turn in that direction and out came the honesty.
You did hurt me a lot. I spent a whole year in hell, tortured by my own feelings and failures. I was tortured by the feeling of failure and the failure of my feelings. My grades were so bad because I was distracted by phone calls. I was distracted by the phone calls that should not have occurred because I knew that what I was doing was wrong. But I did it anyway. I know that I shouldn't say that my "feelings were wrong." but they just seemed wrong. Even though I could not help the way I felt, it still felt like I was doing something that I shouldn't have been doing.
You told me that last year "wasn't fake, it was real." How do I know that? I'm sorry to say, but much of the things you promise me are almost never followed through. Sometimes I think that it's all talk. And I always go by the saying of "actions speak louder than words." I think that talk is all you have. Well, that's all I've gotten from you anyway. Whenever you promised me something, you raised my hopes higher and higher just so I could fall that much more when you go back on your word the next day.
Now, I guess I'm okay. I guess it still gets to me how you talk about "hitting it and quitting it." That's not the person I knew a year ago. I got to know a sweet, loving person, who now turned into a flirtatious, depressed individual. You turning just like into the jerks and the whores that I dislike. And to be honest with myself, there's still a small part of me that cares a lot. You're still one of my very good friends, even though we have been drifting apart lately. I just want my old friend back, the one I met and fell for because of the good qualities I saw. Just bring that person back.

OK!DK @ Senior Center

I just got home from OK!DK dinner. We had a performance today at the senior center to help them fund raise. We did pretty well considering that we had only made the music two days before the actual performance. Also, not everyone made it to the one rehearsal we had with the music, so I'm proud to say that we did a good job tonight. There were a lot of technical difficulties so we didn't perform on the scheduled time. But that's not a big deal at all. I'm glad that the members who performed this time were committed to the crew because we got a chance to clean up the dance. Hopefully the other members could commit enough so they can learn the choreography with everyone else next time. We also have a performance at Paddy's Cafe, I think. That will be on October 17th I believe, which is the homecoming game, but I'm okay with it as long as it is not on homecoming dance. I have to go to the dance. Well, after the performance, we went to Chevy's to eat. It was a good bonding experience so that everyone in the group can get comfortable with each other. I think everyone had fun. I did anyway. Well that brings me to now. I'm really tired. But I don't really want to go to sleep yet.

Just An Update.

School is pretty overwhelming. It sucks not really having much of a social life anymore. But hey, I do what I gotta do to get through junior year. Calculus is killing me. I'm hanging in there, but by a thin thread. Hopefully it gets easier after all the review stuff. I'm really tired and I should probably be sleeping, but I'm up because I was doing calculus homework all day. I have a project due on Friday for US history and I haven't started on it. My printer is broken so I have no idea how I'm suppose to get all the printed information I'm suppose to get. I'm really stressed, but I'm trying to stay calm. I guess I just needed to blog something just to get SOME stress out of my system. I got a lot planned. But overall, I guess I'm pretty excited for this year. I'm trying to change by work ethic because last year, I didn't really have one. And if i did, it was a bad work ethic. Well I did my psychology homework, but I guess what I'm really worried about is my US history homework. But I know I'll get that done. Well I guess that's all. I just needed to get some stuff out because I don't want to blow up anytime soon. More to tell though. But next time.

SLW!!!

So I had workshop for show choir today! Workshop is where we, members, get to bond and get to know each other. It's a chance for all of us to get comfortable with everyone's openness. Even though some people are much more "open" than others, we learn to live with it and make the best of it. It was so much fun. The vibe the whole time was so energetic that I have nothing negative to say, except we all need to work on confidence, but hey, it's only the beginning of the year. A lot of people that I thought were really shy, we really very outgoing and fun to be around. And I actually saw people smile that I've never seen smile in class. It's an extremely fun atmosphere to be in and I would shoot anyone who said it wasn't fun. All the things we did today at workshop and all the crazyness that happened would make the most serious, most emo, most pessimistic person smile. Last year was really fun, but this year was... more than that that I have no words to describe it. Maybe because last year, there was only 21 of us and now there's around 30. The more the merrier right? The teachers we excellent and taught is a lot, and personally, I learned much, not just about music, but the people around me. Some people who were stuck in their shells came out. Even though, some might still be scared to completely come out, they will in time. That's what happened to me last year. I was really shy and I didn't know many people in show choir when I joined. However, now, a lot of my very good friends are in there with me and I've gotten close to many of them. I am more outgoing than I would have ever thought possible and sometimes... I'll admit that, now, I'm not afraid to be jokingly open...(sexual in a joking way). BUT I'M STILL CLEAN! Just because I'm clean, I'm not going to let that stop me from having the fun that I want to have. Oh! And one of the new members of show choir, her name is Mary-Kate, commented in front of everyone that "Mix is a really good dancer". I was so flattered that someone actually recognized me. I thank her so much because she doesn't know how much it means for me to get a compliment. Sometimes there a lot of negativity in my life that even the littlest positive thing is a big deal for me. So I thank her and hope her the best in show choir. Overall, I really love show choir. The class and the people. I would never want to leave, but unfortunately, one day, I will have to. I just hope that we do really well this year in competition. No, I know we will. As long as we know we gave it our best, rank doesn't matter (although it does help). Well I don't want to make this too long, so I guess I'll stop.

SLW!!!! = Show Like Whoa!!!

Acceptance

I was bored in calculus so I wrote (maybe I should have been paying attention).
This one's called Acceptance.

Acceptance
Accept me for what I am,
Who I am and what I do
Cause I accept and don't judge you.

Get to know me from the inside before you make decisions about my character.
Don't put me down because you're confused and unsure...
Of what and who you are to this world...
Because truth is, most of us are.

You and me, we have our differences and similarities.
We may not come from the same place, but we both have feelings and families.

Don't judge me when you see me walking down the street
In clothes that you don't necessarily call "neat"
Cause you don't know what I've been through and why I wear what I wear.
So just because I'm different, doesn't give you the right to stare,
Stare at me like I'm inferior because of my appar...
All the physical matters shouldn't matter, so don't chit chatter
About the way I look because I don't meet your standards.

People are who they are, standards should disappear.
Don't know what else to say, I've made it crystal clear.
Don't judge a book by it's cover, they could be a potential lover.
Outside as dark as night, but inside as bright as the sun.
So if you keep staring and talking and laughing and judging...
Tell me when you're done.

Accept me for what I am,
Who I am and what I do
Cause I accept and don't judge you.
Acceptance.

My Day

Let me tell you about my day today.

I went to school. It was a pretty good day.
In 0 period, we talked about TIES. I'm kinda scared of that assignment. I have to read a lot this month. I'm going to be positive and do my best on it. I have an essay do. I just finished it, but I still have to send it to Mia so she could print it for me. My stupid computer is just stupid.
In first period, we did geography again, just like what we've been doing. I finished my map, sorta. We have a test on it next week so I have to study my butt off. The teacher has really bad BO. I'm so glad that Anna is in my class. Class would suck without her.
In second period, we went over the homework, we took notes. We have a test on Friday. I like how the teacher doesn't collect the homework right away so that's good. But I'm really struggling on Calculus already. I need a lot of help. I hope I can pass this class. And I left my Calculus book in my locker so I can't even attempt to do my homework. Dang. Hopefully he doesn't collect it tomorrow.
In third period, we started singing our spring set, the ones we sing for competition. We sang "Awesome Eighties." Eighties is our theme this year. It was pretty fun. This year's class is much bigger than last year. Last year only 21 of us performed, this year, I think there is about 32 of us. I wonder if it's going to be different this year. But I'm excited.
In fourth period, we talked about the many types of reasons that psychologist have for a certain behavior. Nothing too interesting. I was eating Fritos in that class.
At lunch, I spent the whole time teaching a member of my dance crew the routine I choreographed because she missed the rehearsal when I taught it. She's very committed. Even though I didn't get to eat, it was okay.
In sixth period, we heard a spoken word. It was about the struggle of the Filipinos and how hard they work just to make a living for themselves and their families. I enjoy that class. And Mia transfered in today so that was good.
In seventh, we had to translate a Shakira song. She sings good. The message of the song was pretty good when we translated it. That class isn't that interesting either.

Then after school, I had OK!DK (Organized Kaos! Dance Krew) practice. I got home past seven I think. I'm really tired, but I have to do my work.

Well I guess that's all for now.