Unfinished Thought

Oh hey. Look I'm back only two days later. I think it's because I actually have time because I'm at the choir kid's after school practices. So I just went to everyone's blogs and not many people blog here that much anymore. It kinda sucks. I mean if I had internet at home there would be much more posts.

Well my day was pretty okay today. Nothing special really that I need to talk about that happened today.

But yesterday... I got a phone call from someone unexpected. Unexpected, only because we haven't spoken in a while, especially on the phone. Anyway, when I picked up the phone, his tone was very serious. He said to me, "Mix, we need to talk," which made me think it was something important. Maybe something was bothering him. Maybe he just needed a shoulder to cry on. But no, it was nothing important ("Nothing, I was just bored"). Okay. That's fine. But still, something tells me that there are things he wants to say to me.

During most of the conversation, I was being "mean" to him. I guess. I don't think I was being that mean because all I was doing was stating the truth and saying what's on my mind. I guess my tone could have been a little less harsh, but can you blame me for my bitterness? Of course I don't like being mean to him or to anyone, but I'm tired of him always getting what he wants.

I didn't notice until now that he has so much power. People just can't seem to say no to him. I don't know if he gets his power by making people feel sorry for him but that's what it seems like. I don't want to seem heartless because I care for him a lot. I'm just tired of being one of those people who give him what he wants. Sometimes, you can't have what you want and I guess I do what I do to teach him a lesson and to teach myself as well.

It's Been A While

Wow... Here I am... February 17th. I haven't been on in over a month.

I really wish my computer still worked.
Well I'm in Shane-O's office because I'm waiting for the choir kids to get out of practice. Since I lost my internet, I kinda stopped blogging here. Well I'm updating now I guess.

A lot has happened in a month. Well not really, but it seems like it. Still the same old routine everyday. Nothing really new or significant enough for me to mention. Well, I can't think of anything at the moment anyway. Well I dropped my calculus class because it was too difficult for me and it was ruining my GPA. I guess I'm less stressed now that I dropped it, but for some reason, it doesn't feel like such a big change.
I think I need a big change in my life. I've been thinking lately about if there's anything about my life or my lifestyle that I should change. I wouldn't say that I'm depressed, but I wouldn't say that I'm happy either. SOMETIMES, I'm content. Maybe a small change can turn into something bigger? But what do I change? Should I change because of all the pressure I get from my environment or do I just be myself? I know it sounds like such a give-away but I honestly don't know.

There's so many other things going through my head that I don't think I have time to talk about in one sitting. That's interesting because my life is pretty boring considering that I follow a daily routine that I've grown accustomed to. I guess I'm just tired of the same crap I get from the same people on a regular basis.

I know it sounds very general right now, but maybe next time I post, I'll go into more detail.
But I think that's it for now.